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To Coma, or Not to Coma
To Coma or NOT To Coma:
So for whatever reason, my mind began to wander today…and it wandered into Comas. Yes…Comas…as in, extended periods of sleep that in turn are the closest thing to time travel we have. As the eternal optimist, it occurred to me, that Comas can be Cool (and yes, that will be my slogan for the service I am about to explain to you).
For most of us, the coma is considered a bad thing…a tragic thing. Someone experiences a trauma, and lay in a state of sleep for days…months…sometimes years!!! Families cry, people are forgotten, etc. HOWEVER!!! As well all know, there are folks (ha…I love that word)…anyway…there are folks out there with no really significant personal ties, or the ties they do have are more like unfortunate attachments. For these people, a coma could be sort of appealing…yes…appealing.
Think about it. The possibilities are endless here…especially if we take into account the lowering of body temperature, thereby slowing the aging process. But that is a side note, and you can refer to my article in Scientific American for my dissertation on “Cryogenics and You: How to See Tomorrow and Beyond” for more info on that!! Sorry for the tangent.
Back to Comas. What if you were down on your luck, had no real ties to speak of, and wondered…what will TV look like in 10 years?? What if you could buy a Coma!!! You could just skip all this boring “life” stuff and start over…in the future!!!
There could be multiple benefits here…on multiple levels. Here are the services that came to my mind…and this is just the beginning:
The Technology Coma:
-You just aren’t happy with your toys, and you don’t wanna miss out on the cool, amazing products that will be available in 10 – 20 years…heck…buy a coma!!!
The Relationship Coma:
-You just don’t have the heart to break up with her/him. Want an easy out? Buy a coma!! What are the odds she will continue to date a vegetable…shhh…she’ll never know you paid for it.
The What the Hell Coma:
-For the person that has nothing better to do…why not take a long ass nap!?!?!
The Insomniac Coma:
-There is a cure after all!!!!! And then some…
The Medical Coma:
-Don’t wanna suffer through treatment?? Have your treatment while comatose!! Wake up healthy!
And finally…The Adventure Coma:
-You buy the coma, we pick the year you wake up. You could even pay extra to be moved while you sleep. Imagine waking up 30 years later in the now thawed arctic circle!?!?!?!
The possibilities are endless here people…and like I’ve said before…DON’T EVEN TRY STEALING THIS IDEA…I already own the patent…although the person I talked to about it gave me a REALLY weird look…I wonder what that means…..
